


Cold

by Amber_Angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, No happiness here, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, fix-it kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:24:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Angel/pseuds/Amber_Angel
Summary: The knife emerges from Castiel's chest, and for a second, Dean's whole world stops. The universe itself shrinks down to this point, this moment, this blade impaling his angel, and the utter anguish that is already rocketing through his soul.





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

> This is NOT happy, just a warning. I realize that I'm a little late for doling out a grief fic, and then there's the fact that Cas will be back, but I had too many feelings when I watched the episode, I had to express them somehow. I hope I did them justice.

The knife emerges from Castiel's chest, and for a second, Dean's whole world stops. The universe itself shrinks down to this point, this moment, this blade impaling his angel, and the utter anguish that is already rocketing through his soul. 

Castiel's grace erupts, the blinding light shining through his eyes, open mouth, and the gaping hole of a wound. And then it's over. Cas's body is tilting, falling, and it hits the ground without even making a noise. Dean can't help but think that it's funny: his entire world is crashing and burning, but Cas's death didn't even disturb the dust that his body landed in. 

He doesn't hear Lucifer, all the sound is just white noise, and it doesn't matter anyway. How could anything matter when his angel is dead? Dead, dead, dead. Does that word ever stop hurting? 

There's a warmth beside him, Mary. She doesn't seem phased by Castiel's body, lying there, motionless. Dean wants to scream.

Can't you see him?! He's dead, he's dead, what's wrong with you?! 

She surges forward, catching the devil with a right hook, and it seems to stun him, but it's not enough, not nearly enough, but she's still hitting him, one punch after another, and somehow it's working, he's staggering back, back towards the portal, and it's going to work, he's going in, but then Lucifer has a hold on Mary’s sleeve, and now Dean doesn't care if Lucifer goes through or not, he is not going to lose his mother. Not again. Especially not now. 

Both brothers start forward, but they know it's too late. They're falling, Mary and the devil, and there's nothing that Dean can do. The portal flashes, closes, and just like that, she's gone. 

Dead. Gone. They're both gone.

It's too much, too soon, and he's dropping to his knees beside Castiel's corpse, wishing desperately that it wasn't real, that Cas would sit up, that Mary would reappear, but it's not going to happen. It's not going to, and he can't take it.

In death Castiel finally looks peaceful, almost as though he were sleeping. There are no lines creasing his brow, no frown contorting his lips. He looks past worry, past pain.

It's the look of death, and Dean hates it. He wants to see Castiel's blue eyes staring up at him with their familiar intensity. He wants to put a hand over the angel’s heart and feel the steady thrum of his heart, instead of the emptiness there now. 

“Cas,” he whispers, sorrow painting every syllable. “No.”

He cradles Castiel's head in his hands, leans down, presses his forehead to his friend's. 

“Please,” he chokes out, and it's almost a prayer, a plea for Chuck to have mercy one more time. But Chuck is gone too. 

He had imagined it in joy. He had pictured it in triumph. Sometimes had almost been able to feel it in pain. But when he pressed his lips to Castiel's, all he felt was cold.

**Author's Note:**

> I was messed up after this episode. I watched it at midnight, because I forgot that it was the finale. I should have turned the TV off when I heard the song, and saved it for when I wouldn't be expected to function at full efficiency the next day, but I didn't. After the episode ended, I was... sad doesn't really cover it. I think I was in a state of shock, and I remember wondering if Crowley and Castiel were actually dead, or if it was just a trick of the writers to make us feel pain. Because they do that. A lot. Obviously, now we know that Cas will be back, but Mark is leaving, from what I gathered, and I don't know, I'm just really going to miss him.


End file.
